I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted anything for myself. I have to admit that I am leary about anyone else reading these musings, but time will tell.
My mother is still a stroke survivor, and her therapy is moving forward, as well has her mood swings.
I've survived my 3rd Father's Day since my father's death, and I still believe each year it will get easier to accept he's gone. I don't miss him any less, but I can get out of bed and function through the day, even though I may be sadder than usual. This Father's Day was full of drama caused by my mother's mood swings. For some odd reason, she picked Father's Day to blast me with one of her tirrads, this one being centered on my never ending love of my father. "You've loved the ground he walked on for 40 years, why should it change now", some how implying that loving him means I can't love her as well. Thank God again for the wonderous powers of pills and prayer.
The day end with a call to 911 and my mother returning to the hospital for a few days due to having a stroke related "episode" (can we say "Bad Karma"). She spent 3 days in the hospital, which was the best place for her, especially with what occured next....her older sister, had a massive stroke that Monday and passed away. It was a very hard week for my mother, my aunts and uncles, my cousins, my children and myself. But we'll get past it....this is not our life, it was just one day in it.
We all get caught up in our grief and see only the pain of the moment, we don't see the reality of it. All we could see is that a family member had died, she was no longer with us. We couldn't see the healing that had taken place in her life. She would not suffer the life altering impact a massive stroke can have on the human body, she would not suffer the depressing months of painful therapy and painful healing. Its hard for those of us left behind the understand that her death healed all of that.
It took a little time, but I can see it clearly now.
My mother is still a stroke survivor, and her therapy is moving forward, as well has her mood swings.
I've survived my 3rd Father's Day since my father's death, and I still believe each year it will get easier to accept he's gone. I don't miss him any less, but I can get out of bed and function through the day, even though I may be sadder than usual. This Father's Day was full of drama caused by my mother's mood swings. For some odd reason, she picked Father's Day to blast me with one of her tirrads, this one being centered on my never ending love of my father. "You've loved the ground he walked on for 40 years, why should it change now", some how implying that loving him means I can't love her as well. Thank God again for the wonderous powers of pills and prayer.
The day end with a call to 911 and my mother returning to the hospital for a few days due to having a stroke related "episode" (can we say "Bad Karma"). She spent 3 days in the hospital, which was the best place for her, especially with what occured next....her older sister, had a massive stroke that Monday and passed away. It was a very hard week for my mother, my aunts and uncles, my cousins, my children and myself. But we'll get past it....this is not our life, it was just one day in it.
We all get caught up in our grief and see only the pain of the moment, we don't see the reality of it. All we could see is that a family member had died, she was no longer with us. We couldn't see the healing that had taken place in her life. She would not suffer the life altering impact a massive stroke can have on the human body, she would not suffer the depressing months of painful therapy and painful healing. Its hard for those of us left behind the understand that her death healed all of that.
It took a little time, but I can see it clearly now.
