It's amazing how before you know it, a vast expanse of time has passed by me and gone. It's been a while since I posted and I can't say what I've been doing other than passing another day. Since my last post I've been fighting off this growing loneliness that seems determined to engulf me. My father was truly my champion and me hero, and its been 3 years since we buried him. The love of my life took (with my encouragement) his dream job way, way, out of state.
And my mother, my dear supportive mother suffered a stroke, and although I brought her home, its not her anymore. I live daily with a stranger, who occasionally gives me glimpses of the mother I grew up with, but most of the time I'm faced with a person I don't know, understand, and at times I don't even like, but who I am bound to care for.
Its hard and lonely and difficult and depressing and Zoloft takes off the crusty edge that builds up on me daily, just to pass another day. But this day to day existence is draining, and I find my self growing more and more tired every single day and stopping is not an option. Too much hangs in the balance for me to take a day off to rest. So I pray, I meditate, as I face just another day.
And my mother, my dear supportive mother suffered a stroke, and although I brought her home, its not her anymore. I live daily with a stranger, who occasionally gives me glimpses of the mother I grew up with, but most of the time I'm faced with a person I don't know, understand, and at times I don't even like, but who I am bound to care for.
Its hard and lonely and difficult and depressing and Zoloft takes off the crusty edge that builds up on me daily, just to pass another day. But this day to day existence is draining, and I find my self growing more and more tired every single day and stopping is not an option. Too much hangs in the balance for me to take a day off to rest. So I pray, I meditate, as I face just another day.
